Reguards

CrankBis

m y it s crank bis

Price Range 1 - 3 sister/month
Possibel buy using fruit and vegetal

Locations Chyna, Dagestan,
Amerika (wowow)

Owner sh97 and wadhah

Key Features FREE SPECH ALLOW (on higher plans)
DDR IGNOR, PORT 25 PERMANENT OPEN,
100 Gb/s back boner

Good For 500 GB PRON

Limitations Excessive cranking may cause mild exhaustion

CockHost (previously HostCock)

penis.png

Price Range 🍆/month

Locations Cocks, Cornwall, England, UK
Cox Hill, Cocks, Perranporth, TR6 0AU

Owner emgh, wadhah (now fired for shitposting)

Key Features Host, Cock

Good For Not good for anything

Limitations Frequent outages, unprofessional staff

yoursunny's summer host

best web hosting and VPS deals in the summer

Price Range 0.66666666666666667 - 7 🥭/month
Push-up payment (double top up bonus during full noon)

Locations Antarctica (S 90°00.000 W 030°48.307)

Owner yoursunny

Key Features Remote flippers, IPv9 native,
BGP at no cost

Good For Cold storage (high-speed CF cards)

Limitations Face covering is required

mzunguhosting

network is fast my man

Price Range 61646 - 184940 CFA/month

Locations Bamako, Mali

Owner Mzungu (most probably)

Key Features Pentium IV CPU, 1.41Mbps network, SyntaxError: line 484

Good For Hot Storage, wasting money

Limitations Currently out of stock

FUMO VPS

a PDF Powered Hosting

Price Range 5 - 15 FUMO/month

Locations Gensokyo, Japan

Owner Bim Bim

Key Features FUMO FUMO FUMO

Good For FUMO FUMO

Limitations BAKA

Private Feet Host (v2)

Private Feet VPS: Step Into Secure Hosting!

Price Range $5 - 20 /month
10% off with code TOEJAM.

Locations Dublin, Iran

Owner JohnFilch123 (123 is very important),
They're hiring!

Key Features Toe-riffic Security,
Blistering Speeds,
Sole-ful Storage, Punny Perks

Good For Toe-tally secure Virtual Private Soles (VPS)

Limitations Deadpool incident,
AI slop

10¢ Lighthouse

now, that's a cheap lighthouse

Price Range 10¢ / chinese year

Locations Chyna, Singaporia, Germania, Indonesia

Owner Rubben (see our evidence)

Key Features gay foreigner owner,
slow network,
+20 social credits,
barad_agent, YDService

Good For hosting gay pron

Limitations FREE SPEECH DISALLOW,
no custom ISOs

BEANSUMMERHOST NEXTGEN SHED HOSTING SOLUTIONS LLC (AS206540)

No Speech Hosting (speech it s not allow)

Price Range 2000 robux / lifetime
until beanman looses all savings gambling

Locations US, Kansas [*]

Owner beanman109

Key Features XEON E5 ENABLED,
NO SPEECH ALLOW,
DDR IGNOR,
ChatGPT outsourced administration

Good For Femboy Proxy :3,
IPv6 Only services,
Network abuse,
BigGreenPeenis peering

Limitations Very short maintenance notice period,
Random 2 week downtimes

SuperHosting97

Coming September 27, 2028 (watch trailer)

Price Range TBD / month

Locations North Caucasus, Chyna, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, Burkina Faso, Iran, DPRK

Owner sh97

Key Features Low-cost virtual servers,
Local presence,
Expert handling of borders and censorship

Good For Nodeseek scalper economy,
Cheap Chicken Paradise (CCP)

Limitations Still in preorder phase,
Partnership with zGato networks,
Nezha preinstalled

nekomikoreimu summerhost

Deadpooled after 2 days in operation.

Price Range 5 Cirno / month
FUMO payment gateway

Locations South Korea (🇰🇷)

Owner nekomikoreimu

Key Features Unmetered bandwidth,
Premium South Korean basement,
BAKA ignor

Good For World Wide Weeb

Limitations Mentally unstable upstream

Hostcock

Last seen in ownage of Rubben (gay foreigner)

Price Range ??

Locations Chyna or Kong Kong

Owner Dissolved

Key Features Cici Included

Good For Competing with Cockhost (lost btw)

Limitations Deadpooled

Private Feet Host (v1)

Host your feet with us privately

Price Range $1 - 99 /month
Payments accepted in gold coins.

Locations Princess castle

Owner JohnFilch (left foot)
Wadhah (right foot)

Key Features 100% recycled hamsters on wheels,
Hidden fees,
99.9% downtime

Good For Keeping your feet private and warm

Limitations Partnership with hostcock.com (now cockhost.com)

Curated List of Summer Hosts